Communication Protocols

In many ways parenting living separately is similar to parenting living together. The ability of parents to communicate effectively is a vital element for successful coparenting. This is especially important for parents who live in separate households. The following ideas can help you you communicate in a constructive manner.

Communication Guidelines
1. Direct, open communication between parents regarding the children is best.
2. Be respectful, courteous and responsive.
3. Focus on the present and future, not the past.
4. Address one issue at a time.
5. Make requests, not demands.
6. Avoid becoming polarized over who is “right” and who is “wrong”.
7. Listen to, acknowledge and try to understand the other person’s perspective, even though you may not agree.
If you have a concern, issue or decision to discuss, call the other parent. If the parent is not able to talk at that time, schedule a specific time to talk within a mutually agreed upon period of time.
If either parent leaves a voice mail message or sends an e-mail to the other, s/he should clearly state the issue that needs to be discussed and the time frame within which a response is needed.
If either parent leaves a voice mail message or sends an e-mail to the other, the latter parent should respond within a mutually agreed upon period of time.
When one parent makes a request of the other, the latter parent should make every effort to accommodate that request. If you do, you are more likely to get a favorable response when you make a request.
It is important to acknowledge each other for listening to one’s needs and concerns and for responding favorably to any requests.
If the children raise an issue with one parent about the other, encouraged them to talk directly with that other parent. When appropriate, keep each other informed of any such issues.
If the children make statements that raise concerns for either parent, address this with the other parent, being careful not to respond as though what the children said is accurate.
Keep each other informed about significant events in one’s life (job, relationship, house, etc.) of which the children will be aware and/or by which they are effected. It is reassuring to children to know that their parents are communicating with each other.